Journal Entry 67

Today was the end of the first week back from my winter break. This semester is hopefully my last. Lord willing, I will pass my classes and graduate this May (in less than 4 months from now). I am excited that this process of becoming a nurse is heading towards the end. Though I have wasted much time in the past, I am still studying very rigorously to become a competent nurse, so I would like some time off to study more biblical things and read certain books in the bible and outside of the bible.

One thing that the Lord has been pressing me on is to endure in trusting in Christ’s righteousness or as some would say, “His performance” alone. Every time I have joy from my own performance, the Lord humbles me to show me that I am weak and pitiful. I am glad that the Lord chastens me for that would be evident that I am His. I am continually coming back to the cross when I sin. These past couple of weeks have been very rough for me. I felt like Oswald Chambers in his dark moments as a young person.

I know I am put in very dark (sinful) environments. Thus, there are greater temptations for me, and the demonic activity is noticeably greater in where I am living (both at home and school). My family practice Buddhism, so my sister would pray in the open in the living room, repetitiously (as Christ spoke against in the Matthew 5). Also, she has told me how she has been hearing voices that tells her things (hallucination or demonic activity). For school, I go a college with the reputation of being the #1 party school in America. So sadly, nursing students (nurses-ranked the most trusted group of people in America) have been to class drunk.

I know that the Lord has put me in these places for a certain time for a purpose. He is putting my faith through fire that it may be more valuable than gold. However, there are times when I fall under the pressure. And, when I assess the situation and try to figure out why, one issue I run to a lot is the local church that I am in. I understand that my sins are my responsibility. Yet, God has made it clear in the Word that the church shares that responsibility. Otherwise, why would Paul write to the Galatians about bearing one another’s burdens to fulfill the Law of Christ?

We need balance in the truth that discipleship does not save from the power of sin, but God uses discipleship (the Church) to sanctify those who have already been freed from the power of sin. Man’s responsibility and God’s sovereignty does not just apply to evangelism and justification, but also sanctification (which is the part of salvation that many people want to exclude from salvation). We are being saved…”For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” (1 Corinthians 1:18)

 

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