Journal Entry 53

I finished my first shift as a nursing assistant at my first job. I still have one more year left of nursing school. God has been gracious to me to get me this far. I thought I was not going to make it past the first year of nursing school without failing, but I manage to get by. Now I am spending the summer to do a of studying and working to prepare myself for next semester. I want to be the best nurse that I can possibly be, but there are days when I do not act like it. I am in constant need of the out pouring of the Holy Spirit because wants to take it easy. It does not like being disciplined and hard working. I do not know how much I am going to journal during the summer because the whole point of this webpage was for my home church to know how I am doing with school and my walk with Christ. And, if it turns out that no one reads it then that is fine because I can always look back on these days and give praise to God for the work that He did through me.

Being around so women makes it difficult for me to stay pure in thought. I catch myself fantasizing about having a wife many times, and it is difficult to keep my thoughts captive. I do not plan on seeking for a wife until I have a stable job. The bible exalts wisdom, and I believe it is wise to wait right now. I also want to take this time to study the scriptures and nursing related subjects.

A reason why I chose to be a nurse is because I knew it would conform me to the image of Christ. Christ had compassion on the people that He served, and I want to be like that also. Clearly, I have to be compassionate already to be a nurse, but the reality is a person will not truly know if they were compassionate until they do all of the hard work that a nurse does. There are so many people as nurse who do not show compassion, but are just doing it for other reasons. Those may include self-righteousness, money, and being a people’s pleaser. Granted, we live in a sinful world, but it is scary to know that a person may be entrusted to someone who can sinfully harm them. Perhaps, it is a way for God to judge people for their sins because no one deserves anything but hell due to their sins.

I am looking forward to come out of this summer as a changed man. More mature in the faith, more faithful to God, more prayerful, more compassionate towards man, more loving towards my neighbors, more beneficial to the church, more knowledgeable in science, more discerning and wise, more knowledgeable in scripture, and more like Christ.

I must number my days. The issue with looking at my summer in weeks, is that it will give me an excuse to procrastinate, to be less diligent, and to slack off. May God help me to be on fire. May God help me to run this race fast and hard. May God help me to keep my eyes on Christ, the finisher of my faith.

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