Journal Entry 32 Part 1

Today was the Sunday Service of the year across the nation. I came in very tired and sleepy, the reason was I came in with two hours of sleep. I visited a friend’s house, a guy that I have been talking to about the Gospel and counseled for years. Recently, I have been playing a lot of video games at people’s house whom I visited, and now there has been a decent amount of temptation to play and get back into it. To sum it all up. I stayed up all night playing video games with my friend the night before church. It was not something that I planned, but I gave into my “fleshly” (the part of me that wants to make idols out of lifeless things, to exalt myself, to be selfish, to want to sin, etc.) desires.

I used to be a huge gamer. In fact, I was very proud of it and radical in my past devotions to it. However, when the Lord saved me, my mind was focused on other things. Souls perishing and the gospel going forth was on my mind constantly. I began to take school more seriously, so I studied a lot more than I ever had before. I also wanted to know the bible for that was the means of knowing God. So all of my video games sat in my room and collected dust. I eventually figured I should sell them and give the proceeds to the church. So, I did and I gave but not all.

Since then, there has been seasons where I struggled with video games. The devil would try to push me in the direction of becoming addicted to it again in subtle ways. Now, I do not owe any video games, besides something like Sudoku or challenging mini games that exercises my brain.

Anyhow, certain video games (that are appropriate) can be played here and there with a clear conscience. But, apparently it can have a strong vice grip on someone like me and weigh me down just like it did last night.

I do not want to say anymore for I fear that I might fall into hypocrisy and waste time with video games again. The disappointing and shameful thing is, hours before I went to my friends house (who had the video games), I was talking to a Christian about how it can weigh people and become a total waste of time. So, I have already fallen into hypocrisy. And, I need to be care on how I spend time with this person that I am trying to reach out to.

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